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The Dengler Domain: Short Shorts, Long Shorts

June 17, 2016
Sean Dengler - Columnist , Dysart Reporter

As I have mentioned in previous articles, fads come and go. Fads can be looked back upon and analyzed to find out why it became a fad. For the life of me, there is one fad that existed in the great history of the amazing blue marble, I cannot understand. I am going to make it short, real short, as in short shorts. Never once have I understood why men would want to wear short shorts. It spawns a great debate between generations. Short shorts or long shorts?

After observing John Stockton wear short shorts on the basketball court, I never felt comfortable watching or imagining playing basketball in tiny shorts. Short shorts could not be a comfortable fit. While wearing loose fitting compression shorts, I still feel my shorts are too close for comfort. Short shorts scare the dickens out of me. When I wear long shorts, they can ride up higher, and then I pull them down. Short shorts are half of that distance. I know my algebra, and short shorts can only go so far.

There are benefits to wearing short shorts. Getting a nice tan farther up the leg would be nice. Legs cool off quicker in the summer heat thanks to short shorts. With more surface area exposed to the air, sweat quickly evaporates off the leg. Feeling the cool air blowing across the air would create a wonderful sensation when riding a bike. I am guessing short shorts possibly helped with the ladies because some women leg defined leg muscles.

Showing my leg definition is not enough to swing the tide for me to wear short shorts. I feel more at home when wearing long shorts. Wearing short shorts hides nothing from the world. I prefer to add mystery to my life by wearing long shorts. For people who argue men and women dress more indecent today than in the past, short shorts are one reason that does not support this claim.

I love wearing long shorts. Long shorts never make other players uncomfortable on the basketball court. If I tried playing a game of pickup in short shorts tomorrow, everyone and their mother would stare at me. First, they would wonder how I time traveled to the future, and next, they would kick me off the court.

With that being said, I would love to hear why short shorts were popular. I am a very open minded individual, and I like to hear all sides of a story. If someone convinces, maybe I will try on a pair of short shorts. To be honest, it will take a hard twist of my arm for me to believe short shorts are a wearable piece of clothing. If you have the confidence, shoot me reasons why short shorts are better by email at



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