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The Dengler Domain: Bicycles

August 13, 2016
Sean Dengler - Columnist , Dysart Reporter

Two wheels are better than four; less traction, more risk, and faster speeds. I lied. Two wheels are not better than four, but bicycles are still fun. Fast or slow, bikes are an enjoyable time. They are also energy efficient and promote a healthy lifestyle. Throughout human history, bicycles underwent good and bad changes. While some bikes gained motors negating their bicycle right, the wheel sizes changed for others. This led me to arbitrarily decide from three distinct bike styles which one is best.

This bicycle is not the best. This bike would not be comfortable to ride with my tall stature. The handle bars are too spread out. My arms would be forced into uncomfortable positions. The unorthodox seat is too large. The bike seat is as long as my leg, and that is a problem. This bike plays the leisurely role, and it would not be raced competitively. It is the Buick LeSabre of bikes. Simple, small, but gets the job done.

This bike is better. The handlebars are appropriately placed, and my arms are not spread out to a large degree. The seat is not nearly as large as my leg, and the bicycle possesses and adjustable seat. The enclosed chain is protected from rust resulting in no prematurely trip to the landfill. This bike accessorizes with a bell, and this is a major plus. A ding ding to unaware bystanders is the perfect alert system. No one will step into the path of the almighty bike. Besides the bell, the basket is the biggest improvement. This basket is carries all the crucial and important items. Books, clothes, and water bottles; this basket fulfills every need including negating the necessity of a backpack. No more hot, sweaty back from a backpack used on a long ride.

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Yes, please. This bicycle is the one I have always wanted. While these bikes appear to be mythologized by the past, they actually existed. The top speed must be low with a much higher tip over potential. This bike would be exceptionally hard to learn to ride for any kid. No reason exists for someone to ride this bike with the massively large front wheel coupled with the small, dainty back wheel. This huge contrast makes any rider goofy, and this is why I would love this bicycle. I want to find this bike and ride it. One ride would be enough due to my high number of crashes. After one ride, I will stick to four wheels.

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