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The Dengler Domain: Comebacks

August 26, 2016
Sean Dengler - Columnist , Dysart Reporter

Everybody loves a good comeback story. Many parts society fall to the way side as hip, new trends/better technology takes its place. While some parts fall for the good of society, other are tough to let go. I believe certain products/trends have a chance to make a comeback. Let's get started.

Cathode Ray Tube Televisions

These televisions are beautiful works of art, but they weigh a bajillion pounds. They claimed their rightful place in the living room for many years until flat screens usurped them. They have a chance for a comeback because people love retro feeling products. Inefficient record players roared back into mainstream society, and they first existed at the same time as these televisions. Cathode ray tube televisions also make for an easy decision on where to place them. Hint, the very first place they are set down. Mounting these televisions on a wall or moving it around to different rooms is impossible because everyone would throw their back out. For people who miss knobs and hate dealing with buttons, these televisions have them. Twist away my friends!

With these wonderful benefits, these televisions possess the grainiest, blurriest picture of every produced television. Say goodbye to crystal clear 1080p and hello to pixelated heaven. While vintage record players provide the best sound, cathode ray televisions provide the worst picture. Do not put a magnet next to the television because it will be a big regret.

Short Shorts

These shorts have an unfair advantage because they are in the midst of a comeback. Hipsters make these shorts look cool. These shorts provide a classy appearance with a tight shirt and a smooth haircut. Short shorts also accentuate the muscle tone in one's legs, and they have less surface area for the fabric to be caught and tore on a miscellaneous object.

Unfortunately for short shorts, their comeback will not come full circle. No chance exists of basketball players letting them back on the court. John Stockton can take a deep sigh of relief. Another reason they will not fulfill their comeback is the sunburn potential from wearing short shorts. Pasty white skin like mine burns like a tomato, and the constriction of tight short shorts is no fun.

No Cell Phones/More Privacy

This trend has the best potential to make a strong, everlasting comeback. Twenty years ago, everyone could live a peaceful nonintrusive life by not having a cell phone connected to the world. This would have been a wonderful time to exist. I doubt it will be this generation, but the next generation will realize the hyper connectivity of our culture is not a good idea. The idea from unplugging from this culture and having more face to face interactions will be a better option.

Everyone would experience the world without the need to share it, like it, or post it on their social media. Every human could leave their house and not have a cell phone distract them from the outside world. These later generations will embrace the beauty of the world. While not every person will partake in this movement, there will be a substantial amount. This is why turning off the cell phone now is the best way to start living life.

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