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The Dengler Domain: Beat the Heat

July 14, 2017
Sean Dengler - Columnist , Dysart Reporter

As summer goes on, the temperature outside continues to increase. It is not a fun part of this great state of Iowa. The heat and humidity slowly suffocates everybody's want to go outside. Staying indoors is the best way to avoid this awful heat. This makes air conditioning my best friend. I cannot imagine what people did before this wonderful invention. This is why I came up with a few options to prepare people and myself if the air conditioning goes out.

The first option is to find a wooded area. Being under a big oak or any type of tree is a great way to beat the heat. One needs to stay inside the shaded area or risk stepping into the direct sunlight and meet an unwelcoming situation. A negative of trying to stay in the shade is the non-protection against humidity. Shade or no shade 100% humidity feels awful every single time. Luckily, blocking the sunlight is more important than fighting humidity so tree provide a phenomenal sanctuary for a very hot soul.

The second option is to find the nearest body of water and jump into it. This water will relieve the body better than any other option. Instant water means instant cooling gratification. A pond or lake provide this wonderful option. In addition, find a boat and sail the water to use wind to help with the cooling process on a warm summer day. If a pond, lake, or river cannot be accessed, find a bucket and a spicket. Then fill the bucket up full of water to dump on oneself. It is not classy, but it will be relieving. One last water option is to find someone who owns a sprinkler and frolic through it like a champ and be slightly classier when cooling off.

The third option is to find a cave. The access to caves in Iowa is scare, but these wonderful Earth holes provide great cover. A cave's temperature is always cooler than the hot and humid outside temperature. Go back to the roots of human beings and enjoy the cave. Build a fire like a true caveman. Check all parts of the cave for an ornery bear. No one wants a bear as a cuddle buddy. Avoiding a bear is more important than the heat unless the bear is a Care Bear.

These are three of many options to beat the heat without wonderful air conditioning. The no air conditioning problem is not a one size fit all solvable solution. Figure out the best suitable option and enjoy the slightly cooler temperature. If there is humidity, good luck and try not to melt. It does not matter because before long snow is on the ground, and temperatures are colder than the Moon. Keep cool everybody.

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