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The Dengler Domain: Terrible Gift Ideas

December 8, 2017
Sean Dengler - Columnist , Dysart Reporter

With the holiday season in full swing, shopping for relatives is upon the public. Finding the best deals for Christmas presents is always the goal. Getting in a shoving match over a new toy is not the best idea. Be chill, kind, and enjoy the process. To make sure one does not purchase a bad gift, here are my gift ideas to avoid.

The first terrible gift idea is a drill battery. Not a drill, not the screws with the drill, but only the battery. This battery holds a good charge, but a good, useless charge if given to someone without a drill or the wrong drill. The useless battery can be used as a paperweight. It will be irony as the drill works great until the battery dies, and the paperweight battery is the wrong brand.

The second terrible gift idea is an animal. Whether it be a puppy, kitten, hamster, bird, or any animal, surprising a relative or friend with a creature to take care of for the next ten years is a bold strategy. Parents giving to their kids makes sense, but good luck to any other circumstance. This a gift which keeps on giving with the gift receiver shelling out more money in the long run than giver of the gift. Fortunately, no one has given me an animal, and please, do not give me an animal this year.

The third terrible gift idea is a used crayon, not a full carton of crayons, but one whittled down to its last marking crayon. Any color of this used crayon will not bring happiness to the recipient. Do not clean out a drawer and find this crayon and think giving it to someone else will come in handy. The only off chance it would work is if the recipient needed to add a final touch their coloring book.

As long as one does not use these three ideas for gifts, the other presents will work. Most importantly, enjoy this holiday season while shopping with friends and family. Have fun and enjoy everyone's company. Before I forget, these gifts would be great for white elephant gift exchange besides the animal idea. When people hear the bark, everyone will know the gift.

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